Q: Why do medical labs now use lawyers instead of rats for testing?
A: Because lawyers breed much faster, are less likeable and will do things most rats will not do.
Q: What's the difference between a dead meerkat in the middle of the road, and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A: There are skid marks before the dead meerkat.
A bloke meets a shyster of a lawyer at a party.
He goes up to the shyster and says: "You're a very expensive lawyer, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am" replies the shyster.
So the bloke then says: "If I give you say R 3, 000-00, would you answer two questions for me?"
"Of course" says the shyster smirking, "so, what's the second question?"
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law