My mother-in-law used to tell my wife when we started dating she didn't have to put anything in her mouth she didn't want to. Then she made her eat broccoli, which to me felt like double standards.
My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad. Not as in – with a stick – he just died first.
I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves".
My cat is now recovering from a massive stroke.
I’ve always considered myself more of a lover than a fighter. Which has really confused a lot of guys who've tried to pick fights with me. They’ll raise their fists, and I’ll just drop my trousers.
My ex-wife would always ask me to text her when I got in. That’s really how small my penis is.
Above: Barry's get-all-your-basic food-groups and jokes
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law