A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Something to lighten your day...
The great thing about us South Africans, is that we can laugh at ourselves, or maybe the case on the weekend is that we really want to continue the punishment of the management and players a little longer - what a shocker, 57-0 lesson delivered by the All Blacks. Here are a few images taken from Twitter in the last 3 days.
A family was visiting the Kalahari when they came across an old Bushman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the tar.
A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”
A school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer.
Once, there was a preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he would be on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession.
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain."
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window.
A woman awakes one morning to find her beloved dog keeled over on the carpet. In distress she takes the dog to the vet who checks the dog and shakes his head.
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older, he was increasingly hampered by excruciatingly painful headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he sought medical help.
A German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
There was a man who had worked all of his life and has saved all of his money. He was a real cheapskate when it came to his money.
A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared the worst. He asked a senior partner whether he ought to send the judge a box of cigars.
A salesman stopped for gas at a very old general store. While he was paying for the gas and an orange soda, he spied a dusty brass pig high on a shelf. He asked the old man behind the counter if he could take a closer look at the pig, but the shop keeper said that wasn't a good idea.
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn’t return to Earth.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game.
Man: Doctor, my wife is not hearing well lately. But I don't want to tell her as it will make her upset. Can you give me a pill or something that I can slip in her drink and make her hear better?
At least we can smile at ourselves...here are a few images that make us smile about our beloved Africa.
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
These expressions on the Minion's faces are perfect illustrations of how we feel...
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it.
I think this might be a case of having the cake and eating it at the same time...
Mr Moe goes for an interview at a law firm...
As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides.
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
Suppose that every evening, 10 men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to R100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
A judge was riding horses one day with a young lawyer friend.
A few humourous images to lighten your day...
This is brilliant, and just about every rule is something we know we all get caught up with. Enjoy the chuckle...
During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan.
Coming to grips with the fact that real friends are not found in social media networks...