Barry Varkel on stage doing his stand-up comedy

When I was a 12 year old kid, my dad caught me curing a piece of salmon – so to teach me a lesson he made me smoke the whole packet.

I just had a near death experience this morning. I was five metres away when this sheep got hit by a minibus.


My wife worries a lot about me cheating on her on a night out with my mates, but I always try to reassure her and say to her: 

'Why would I go out and have a burger when I can have steak at home night after night?' 
The only problem is, when you are drunk, a burger can taste really really good.


A woman on the East Rand has just had the largest ever boob job to increase her breasts to 38KKK.  She is one seriously dedicated racist.


When I die, I want my remains to go to my iPod, my iPhone and my laptop. I really just want to be left to my own devices.


Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.

Author of Nigiri Law 

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