There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making fellow steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says menacingly, as I just burst into tears. “Hell, come on, man,” the swine says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. It ain’t right for a grown man to cry over something like this.”
“This is the worst day of my life,” I say.”I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting, and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen, and I don’t have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife in bed with another man… and then my dog bit me.
So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.
I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve, trying to get the guts up to actually drink the darn thing; and then you show up and drink it before I have a chance!
But hell, enough about me, how has your day been?