Barry Varkel

The other day I was walking on the Cape Town station bridge across Strand Street, and I saw this guy was about to jump off the bridge onto moving cars and the tarmac below. 

I said, “Don’t do it!” 

He said, “Nobody loves me.” 

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” 

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” 

He said, “A Jew.” 

I said, “Me, too!  Ashkenazi or Sephardi? 

He said, “Ashkenazi.” 

I said, “Me, too!  Which Synagogue?” 

He said, “Gardens”

I said, “Me, too!  Where did you have your Barmitzvah? Gardens or Marais Road Synagogue?”

He said, “Marais Road Synagogue”

I said: “Me too”

I said: “Did you vote for the DA or the Cape Party in the recent elections?”

He said, “the DA” 

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.


  1. Whatta dark and funny story. I hope it was a joke.

    If it wasn’t a joke, then that motherfucker deserved it.

    Still, very funny oke. Wish he had a bigger audience.

    Babetikosweti Lives!


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