The other day I was walking on the Cape Town station bridge across Strand Street, and I saw this guy was about to jump off the bridge onto moving cars and the tarmac below.
I said, “Don’t do it!”
He said, “Nobody loves me.”
I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”
He said, “A Jew.”
I said, “Me, too! Ashkenazi or Sephardi?
He said, “Ashkenazi.”
I said, “Me, too! Which Synagogue?”
He said, “Gardens”
I said, “Me, too! Where did you have your Barmitzvah? Gardens or Marais Road Synagogue?”
He said, “Marais Road Synagogue”
I said: “Me too”
I said: “Did you vote for the DA or the Cape Party in the recent elections?”
He said, “the DA”
I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.