At my wife’s labour, the nurse came up to me and my wife and said “How about Epidural Anaesthesia?” I said “Thanks, but we’ve already picked a name”.
My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
New 007: “Vodka Martini … stabbed, not stirred”.
Wanted: Skilled craftsmen to manufacture high quality snooker equipment. Please form an orderly cue.
Following the recent returns of cultural artefacts to their country of origin, the US Air Force are in discussions to return Boris Johnson to Area 51.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. That thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was very nice though.
A Muslim lady was denied entrance into Mcdonalds today until she removes her hijab….
Should have gone to Burka king.
Nothing says I have total faith in God than the bullet proof glass on the Pope’s car.
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