My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Johannesburg zoo.
POLITICS
Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
My wife asked me, “Is there anything in particular you want to see at the four day ANC rally?”
“Yes” I said, “an Ebola outbreak.”
CATHOLIC MOTHER-IN-LAW
My wife is Catholic and my family are all Jewish.
When my wife first told her mother I was Jewish, my mother-in-law’s immediate response was:
“Well, you know, Jesus was a Jew” and I thought:
“F**king hell, now she’s set the bar high”.
