dreaming of being an ocean liner

I always wanted to be an ocean liner,

All I managed to become was a rowing boat.

I wanted to scale the high seas across vast expanses of acqua,

Yet all I managed to negotiate was an undersized lake.

I wanted to meet exotic people speaking in peculiar tongues,

But all I heard were the same tired old neighbourhood jibes from the same old, same old, going nowhere people.

I was to be huge – a five-star apartment block floating on the high seas.

All I became was a single-roomed kitchenette with constant damp problems.

I wanted to meet royalty – A Swiss viscount, a Swedish baroness.

Yet it was only Chrissie wanting to row with me – the easy girl who didn’t need to trust me because she could swim very well.

I wanted to dine on oysters, escargot, delicious cuts of meat.

All I could muster was a cold and soggy Subway sandwich.

I practised my craft – I stood in front of my cracked hand-held mirror balancing on one foot covered in a moist, moth-ridden black sock, going over my punchlines, my literary flourishes.

On the ocean liner, he had 500 screaming with laughter sickeningly wealthy adults hanging onto his every syllable.

As I row my small rowing boat to the side of the undersized lake to hunker down for the night under a fetid, rotten and pilfered hospital blanket,

He sleeps the sleep of kings, three gorgeous super-models in his bed, washed down with Bollinger Special Cuvee, propped up by 100% pure Colombian cocaine.

I always wanted to be an ocean liner,

All I managed to become was a sinking, washed-up rowing boat.

Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law and Goy Vey


  1. Enjoyed the read -Barry I heard is also going to the poetry festival next week in McGregor in W Cape -One of his works is in the annual book that comes out each year

    -His book Goy Vey is also a good read
    -It is still in the top 5 at Wordsworth Books in Sea Point -(the launch was in June ) so thats a really good achievement -Goy vey is very funny -worth reading


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