When I was a 12 year old kid, my dad caught me curing a piece of salmon – so to teach me a lesson he made me smoke the whole packet.
I just had a near death experience this morning. I was five metres away when this sheep got hit by a minibus.
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My wife worries a lot about me cheating on her on a night out with my mates, but I always try to reassure her and say to her:
‘Why would I go out and have a burger when I can have steak at home night after night?’
The only problem is, when you are drunk, a burger can taste really really good.
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A woman on the East Rand has just had the largest ever boob job to increase her breasts to 38KKK. She is one seriously dedicated racist.
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When I die, I want my remains to go to my iPod, my iPhone and my laptop. I really just want to be left to my own devices.
Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law
