Barry Varkel

RAMAPHOSA – I was really upset on Saturday night, because I had left my inflatable Cyril Ramaphosa sex doll at work, which was a shame, because half-way through the act he does this amazing trick where he disappears up his own backside. 

THE EFF – I’ve been studying EFF martial arts for the past week. Now I know twenty ways to kick a white man in the back.

THE MEDIA – I used to read the newspapers, but I don’t anymore. I just lie to myself and cut out all the middlemen. 

WOMEN – I had a huge fight with my wife yesterday over Sunday lunch, and she said loudly in the middle of the restaurant: “you’ll never find someone like me again”

I said: “Yes, that’s the point”.

Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law and Goy Vey


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