Judge Tim Toffee

After a long and mostly liquid lunch, Judge President Tim Toffee returns to his seat on the bench of Court 17 at 3pm.
Steely eyed, he looks first at prosecutor Lucas and then at defence attorney Varkel, not sure of who he dislikes more.
After a very long uncomfortable silence, Judge President Tim Toffee says to Attorney Varkel:
“Please get your client to stand up, Mr Varkel”.
Murder accused Sergio Slimeball then stands up sheepishly, anticipating the worst.
“Now Mr Varkel, you do seem to be ready to close your client’s case but, before you do so, might you perhaps have anything at all to offer this court before I pass judgment?”
Attorney Varkel slowly shakes his head in the negative.
“Does your client himself perhaps have anything to offer this Court?”
Murder accused Sergio Slimeball says:
“No, Judge.  Mr Varkel already took every Rand I have”.

Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law and Goy Vey


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