Liza Minnelli sang beautifully in the Pet Shop Boys’ song entitled “Losing my mind”:
“The sun comes up / I think about you / the coffee cup / I think about you
I want you so / it’s like I’m losing my mind,
The morning ends / I think about you / I talk to friends and think about you
And do they know it’s like I’m losing my mind,
All afternoon doing every little chore / the thought of you stays bright
Sometimes I stand in the middle of the floor / not going left, not going right
I dim the lights and think about you / spend sleepless nights to think about you
You said you loved me / or were you just being kind?
Or am I losing my mind?
Some poor weakened immune system schmuck in Botswana who has HIV/Aids/Typhoid/Cholera/Ebola/TB/tsetse fly sleeping sickness/Eskom chronic stealing illness is apparently the cause of the new hyper mutant covid strain named “Omicron”.
What a crock of sh*t.
Well, here’s a first for Africa. We’re number one again. I like being number one – the first person in the Varkel family to get an University education; the 1st Varkel to leave home and support himself on part-time gigs while studying law, having done a brisk trade by having shamelessly ripped off German tourists at 2am with inflated bills, in a quasi-dark-room late night venue during the tail end of apartheid, when said German Lilly white tourists were with their skelm black side-chicks doing an “agter die Venter”.
But I have nothing against Germans – only against stupidity.
The British historian GM Trevelyan wrote in the early 1900’s:
“Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading, an easy prey to sensation and cheap appeals”.
A conference call took place this past week between the leaders of the USA, Canada, the UK and the EU:
Johnson: “Yesterday, I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World. How’s your vaccine programme doing Joe?”
Biden: “Can I have my eggs sunny side up with some hashbrowns on the side, please”.
Germany has 70,000 new cases of covid a day in an highly vaccinated country. The UK has 50,000 new cases of covid a day in an highly vaccinated country. The USA is about to explode. Surely, the only logical conclusion to draw is: the so-called vaccines are simply not working.
Biden: “Angela, sorry I mean Putin, sorry I mean Boris – let’s blame it all on Africa. We can stop the aid, the flights, the guns, the illicit drugs, until they all get vaccinated – we’ll get good old Ramaphosa to hold them all down and jab them in their eyeballs”.
Johnson: “Why didn’t I think of that at Peppa Pig World? For someone with dementia that’s simply a smashing idea, Joe”.
I went to the McGregor poetry festival last week. No vaccine passports, no temperature gauges, not many masks, no questions asked, 100 people in a room the size of my guest toilet. Unvaccinated, I took the chance. I stood up in front of the audience and read my poem:
There she sits in the far corner of the garden,
On her tree made of sweet girly dreams,
A yellow daisy in her hair,
She opens her door to me,
Beckoning me to enter her verdant patch,
I pull the vines aside,
Step over the threshold of her femininity,
And, as I enter, my being breaks into a trillion subatomic particles,
Each one circulating furiously inside her galaxy.
For billions of years, I shall swim up against her forcefield,
Trying to cross her brain/soul barrier,
And even though I travel outwards at light speed,
She expands faster than my internal velocity,
Her finally crossing the invisible boundary of my observable universe,
With me losing sight of her forever.
Don’t lose sight of the BS and like Liza Minnelli didn’t: “don’t lose your mind”.
Contributed by:
Barry Varkel, an attorney of the High Court of South Africa and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of England and Wales.
Author of Nigiri Law and Goy Vey
It has got to a stage that most people are so exhausted over covid this covid that. New variants popping out of the woodwork like maggots out of dead and rotting meat it makes you want to become a hermit or wish to be shipwrecked on island far off the map
Yeh luckily babies don’t have cellphones, otherwise they’ll be all over social media about their rights to the get polio or measels vaccines. Don’t even mention circumcision. That Liza Minelli track was one of the highlights of that age. Great poem too. Hard to get into the wonderous lady garden these days. Trying to get a part time job as gardener but my wife’s not hiring at the moment. Loitering outside.